Russell Brand has changed his mind and appealed to the public not to vote.
Speaking eloquently through the medium of the English language Mr Brand said “I revert forthwith to my original stance. Forsooth I mistook the emotions I experienced after meeting Ed Miliband for a desire to vote for him and persuade my less articulate fans to follow in accordance. In actual fact I was just hungry and now having verily consumed a bacon sandwich I will no longer be voting and I would urge the British public to do exactly the same”.
One adoring fan told us “I’m going to wait until 9.45 pm to decide whether to vote or not based on the latest decision from Russell. I don’t want to vote only to find out later in the day that he’s had a change of heart and told everyone not to vote again. Or vice versa. And I don’t want to vote labour in the morning only to find out that he’s been telling everyone later on to vote Conservative or green or something. But if I follow Russell’s instructions I know in my heart of hearts that I’ve done the right thing.”
Indeed many people are reportedly offering the bearded jokemeister power of attorney to vote or not vote as the case may be and express opinions on their behalf. Like a benevolent dictatorship.
Another fan we spoke to said “I’m fucked if I could make my own decision about anything.”
